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Fist and anal dilatation, what is it about ? Discover the joy of fisting.

Fist and anal dilatation are now part of the sexuality for many gay men regardless of the age. The practice of fisting can take place at home, in a specialized place like a sex club, or with an experienced practitioner. But whether you are a beginner or an expert, you should always follow some rules and act with care.


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For some people, fisting is a case of «Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it». For others, it is not an act of love, it is beyond that, it is «sublime and indefinable, the height of sensuality». We met with Rémy, an expert based in Paris and Maspalomas, to benefit from his advices. Remy has many years of experience in fisting, both practical and theoretical knowledge. He has a degree in sexology and has published numerous books and guides on gay men's sexuality and homosexuality. He told us how to discover the joys of fisting and how to do it to get the most out of it without any risk.



Why has the fist become so popular today ?

Fisting is an incredible experience, not only physically but also emotionally and mentally. The orgasms and pleasure caused by fisting (whether you are passive or active) are among the most intense that you can ever have.

Fist-fucking requires a high degree of trust between partners. For some, it represents the most intimate and intense sexual act. Many practitioners speak of it in mystical terms: «deep intimacy», «fusing together in love», «blending into the universe». Some people describe «flashes of ecstasy», «feelings of extreme belonging», «deep stirrings». It’s one of the strongest sexual experiences.

Fist-fucking is not straightforward or self-explanatorily. It takes great mental work. It often provokes repulsion and disgust in outside observers. Since it is not always easy to be the passive partner in anal sex, it isn’t hard to imagine how the idea of ​​having multiple fingers or a fist in the anus can be problematic. Symbolically, it marks a second loss of virginity and a whole new barrier to be overcome. And more and more people want to experience this, either out of curiosity or because they want to go further.


The asshole and anal sex are no longer dirty or shameful, but the stage for a kind of pleasure beyond words. It is there, in that forbidden place, that we get off.



Why does fisting give so much pleasure ?


Fist-fucking triggers a flood of endorphins that take away any pain. The ups and downs of these chemicals inside you will cause intense emotional activity, sometimes laughs and joy, sometimes even crying, or unexpected and explosive releases of emotions.

When fisted, you feel an impression of being filled, of overflowing, of being invaded. You experience an indescribable ecstasy. The passage of the fist into the anal sphincter or vagina marks an intense, even violent moment that overwhelms you. Fistees talk about it in glowing terms.

The walls of the anus are rich in nerves and blood vessels. The anus and rectum have many more pleasure-giving nerve endings than the vagina – and in any case, what nerve-endings the vagina does have are all at its opening. More to the point, men’s prostates are their pleasure zones and the equivalent of the female G-spot.


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What about the very first time ?

The first few times you get fisted, it isn’t easy. It’s best to do things gradually, to do it night after night, week after week. Several sessions will often be necessary. Dildos and butt plugs (i.e. dildos that are specially shaped to stay in place once inserted) are generally used to open the anus more widely at the start of play. The fistee can help penetration by pushing on their diaphragm – as long as they don’t force too much !

Over time, self-confidence increases and the pleasure increases tenfold. Without realizing it, you become more accepting and freer from inhibitions. In this regard, the fister can feel just as blocked as the fistee ! It can be a shock for the fister to see and feel their hand in another person’s body. Also, the ass is still a taboo part of the body. But we must not lose sight of the fact that the purpose of fisting is to give pleasure, not suffering, and the mucous membranes should not be overly traumatized.

Losing your fisting virginity is an art. You should not expect to fist a novice completely during the first few sessions. It is best to be advised (or taken in hand) by an expert. You can also watch some FF porn videos to get an idea, although you need to bear in mind that the performers in these are professionals. As a fister, it is essential to stop as soon as the fistee says so. No one should be forced to do anything.



What are the practical advices to follow ?


As your partner starts to get excited, you can gradually push in a second finger. Be patient. That’s two fingers in. Wait a few minutes. Then three fingers: play, explore, and take your time. Gently withdraw and add lubricant. Four fingers ought now to fit easily. Explore the surrounding area with a circular movement and stimulate it by slowly inserting the thumb, finally initiating penetration with your entire hand.


Once at this level, your fistee’s ass will be getting greedier and greedier. After the entry of each finger, repeat this movement by adding a slow back and forth. Once the anus is accustomed to four phalanges, the fister can start working with his thumb without any problems.


When you feel that the ass is open and ready, withdraw your hand slightly as the thumb enters. Add lubricant with the gloved free hand, tighten your fingers against each other, then fold the thumb inside the other fingers as though you wanted to turn them into a huge dildo inside the ass of your partner.


Don’t be shy with the lubricant. The more you put in, the easier the insertion will be and the more receptive the fist will be. The back-and-forth movements should not be too fast, otherwise a tightening occurs which is a normal reflex of the anus. It is the hand’s back-and-forth motion that opens the ass. The ass is designed to expel what is inside, and the more you excite it, the more it will expel you. And the more it ejects you, the more you can return.

After pressing your fingers back together, slowly insert your hand into the ass. The best method is to give a regular and measured push. Never be brutal. The muscle then relaxes as the hand progresses. If this is not the case and the pain is too great for the fisted person, you then need to withdraw and let them rest.


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Call for an appointment : +33 6 64 78 29 52

Nov. Dec. 2022 (Paris) / January 2023 (Maspalomas)